Sunday, September 24, 2006

How To Answer Your Own Question - The Kinky Tory Masochists Strike Again

I've said it before...and I'll say it again. 'Good Conservatives' (cue gag reflex) are kinky, perverse little masochists who like nothing better than to have a Mark Oaten moment every time their leadership opens their mouths.

Why a Mark Oaten moment? Because old Mark gets off on being crapped on only marginally more than 'Good Conservatives' do.

Take this chappie. After Call Me Dave made his latest anti-English-and-everything-remotely- Conservative-in-nature speech, our Gav got all upset, bless him.

"The thing is, I really don’t know why he did it. There’s absolutely no logical value in making a poisonous speech that make angry a proportion of 85% of the population in order to placate a proportion of 11% of the population."

Here's why Gav. In your own words, in the very next paragraph.

"I am Conservative, and despite the tone of the speech, I will remain Conservative and proud of it."

And also the priceless:

"I know that the membership won’t leave the party over this one issue; but Cameron must know what dangers he is running with his membership."

Translation: "Ooooh yes Mistress Dave, abuse me even more, that's it, call me misguided, tell me again how I have to abandon Conservatism to get a Conservative government, ooooh yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss!!! Oh darling, you know I could never leave you no matter how bad you treat me..."

There is nothing the man can do to lose your vote Gav, and the smug wanker knows it too. That's why he can afford to publicly abandon every principle beloved of his 'core voters' like yourself and go scrabbling as far down in the dirt as Labour and the Libarab Democrats. Because your vote is totally, utterly sewn up. You can whinge, whine, protest, bluster all you like. But you'll still keep right on voting Tory, working for the Tories, delivering leaflets containing policies you disagree with featuring the utterances of a man you despise. Because you are addicted to the Conservative Party, body and soul. Accept no substitutes, for all your statements such as:

"The Conservative Party is almost alone in the United Kingdom as a reasonable right-wing party. But if that were to change then I am sure the majority of blogging right-wingers would jump at the chance to join that new party."

Yeah right. UKIP's been there for a while now and for all its failings fulfills that criteria perfectly. If all the Tories who voted for them in 2004 hadnt acted in 2005 like cattle returning to the nice warm barn despite the door being left wide open with a huge landscape full of juicy grass just in the next field, we might be looking at a very different political landscape now. That 'rightwing alternative' would be a viable and powerful political force instead of a 'fringe party'.

But you did go back into the nice warm barn Gav. And there you will stay, making statements to those who urge you to leave it like "Well yes I understand that the abattoir is always a possibility, but if we leave the barn then outside it might be even worse."

If I'd had a pound for every Gav I met during the last Election Campaign I could have probably bought the entire 150 or so UKIP members in Christchurch a meal and got the beers in too. And frankly those 'Good Conservatives' who have sat back and watched this country and most of all their Party go to rack and ruin are enough to drive anyone to drink.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Cllr. Gavin Ayling said...

Thank you for making me smile!

UKIP stand on a single issue and, while I agree with that issue, it's not enough.

A close friend who had never voted before the last election took a load of leaflets from each party and ruled out UKIP because of the death penalty appearing in the leaflet. The Tories accept that the death penalty is an issue of individual conscience while UKIP consider it so fundamental that they put it on a space-restricted leaflet.

Further, the UKIP members I have met have been homophobic protectionists with no grasp of the reality of EU withdrawal. I like to think, at least, that I know how hard it will be -- though I still want it.

It would be great if UKIP were a reasonable right-wing party but all the evidence suggests that they're more socially Conservative than I can tolerate. And believe you me, if when the policies come out they are left-wing in any sense, there'll be a membership exodus that will include me.

Again, though, thanks for the vivid imagery -- made I smile.

12:34 PM  
Blogger Dangerouslysubversivedad said...

Hi Gav,

Thanks for stopping by. I think your friend must have misread the leaflet - UKIP dont say they would bring the death penalty back, they would simply hold a referendum on it. Their current policy initiatives on Taxation and Education certainly have a great deal more meat to them than anything Blu-Labour is serving up!

I havent met a homophobic UKIP member yet - this cannot be said of the Conservatives.

I dont quite understand what you mean by 'socially Conservative' - I assume you mean 'old-fashioned' or even, 'morally driven'. That doesnt make them 'unreasonable' - it just makes you not as 'Conservative' as you'd like us to think you are.

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Cllr. Gavin Ayling said...

UKIP dont say they would bring the death penalty back, they would simply hold a referendum on it.

Isn't that the same thing ;-)

I call myself a liberal Conservative. I don't much mind what anyone does so long as it doesn't harm anyone else physically, financially or emotionally. (Animal rights muddies my simple, snappy sentence so lets pretend that's a given...).

"Morality" is the excuse used by many people for many infringements on other people's liberty.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Dangerouslysubversivedad said...

Riiiiight, so letting the vast majority of the population express their heartfelt desire to bring back the death penalty is a bad thing. Of course I was forgetting wasnt I? The Tories know best.

I'm sorry if the concept of morality upsets you. There was me thinking 'Good Conservatives' had a moral compass of sorts - but presumably a Good Conservative is some kind of liberal/anarchist combo. But I thought you didnt LIKE your Party leader? :)

8:50 PM  
Blogger Stan said...

Concillor Ayling says a lot about what he is opposed to, but little about what he is for. As a Christian, I am also opposed to the death penalty - but I can understand why more and more people are for it. When the death penalty was abolished it was sold on the idea that murderers would go to prison for life - literally. Clearly, the people were lied to (as they were about the "Common Market"). I also find it odd that the very people who seem to be most opposed to the death penalty for convicted murderers are often the same people who are most vociferously FOR the death penalty for unborn children through abortion - their only crime is to be an inconvenience. I get fed up of hearing that it is about "choice" or control over "my body". The choice was made when they had sex and that's someone else's body they are aborting. When the death penalty was abolished there were only around a dozen cases a year - currently we kill of unborn children at the rate of around 250,000 a year. That's about six million since abortion was made widely available - about the same as the Holocaust, in this country alone. Why is the death sentence for innocent children so acceptable, but the executiion of heinous murderers not?

3:24 PM  
Blogger Dangerouslysubversivedad said...

Hear hear! Whilst my perspective is defintely NOT a Christian one, I am also of the exact same opinion about abortion. All I think is that the actual letter of the Law should be applied - abortion should only be a valid option when the physical or mental health of the mother is at serious risk.

Not a convenience.

8:22 PM  

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