Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Antidote to Twilight Mania

After the amusing but occasionally disturbing experience of babysitting a Twilight-obsessed seven year old overnight last week, it seems that the mania surrounding this distinctly pedestrian part of the overall pantheon of Vampire mythologies has spread still further.

The eldest's first French homework assignment is to produce a picture of 'a celebrity' from the Net and to annotate the pic with the celeb's hair and eye colour. She confidently assured me that all the girls in her class were going to pick either the ridiculously coiffured Robert Pattinson (previously an uppercrust Harry Potter schoolboy) or the always entertaining Kristen Stewart (well alright, maybe not a hugely talented actress but I'm a sucker for that particular kind of facial structure).

Well, today she asked the rest of the class in advance of tomorrow's French lesson and sure enough, at least seven have picked Pattinson and at least three Stewart, which led us to come up with a way to stymie the Twilight mania and hopefully break the ice with the new teacher.

We imagined the scene...

"So X, who is your celebrity?"

"Robert Pattinson, Madame."

"Very good, X. Brown hair and grey eyes, oui. Now, how about you, Y?"

"Robert Pattinson, Madame."

"I see. And you, Z?"

"Robert Pattinson, Madame."

"You know, class, this isn't much of an exercise if everyone's answer is 'My celebrity has brown hair and grey eyes'. Can everyone who didn't pick Robert Pattinson raise their hands? Good. Now, B, who did you pick?"

"Kristen Stewart, Madame."

"Aha, black hair and brown eyes, excellent. How about you, C?"

"Kristen Stewart, Madame."


"Very well, could everyone who picked Kristen Stewart lower their, that leaves...ah, Amber. What colour is your celebrity's hair?"

"Ma célébrité a les cheveux bleus, Madame!"

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