Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Why Aren't We All Dead Yet Then?

My companion in anger Mr, erm, Kitchen presents a wonderfully acidic blast against the apocalyptic doommongers that we call 'scientists'. But these scientists are that particular breed of scientist - the Research Scientist who comes in his own box, with the pricetag of a nice big fat chunk of funding attached. Agenda not supplied, but easily accessorised according to taste...

Mr Kitchen is talking about CJD here of course, or Creutzfeldt Jakob's Disease to give it its full name. The disease which due to its still unproved 'link' with BSE (Mad Cow Disease) caused us to cripple our entire Beef and associated cow product industry, destroying the livelihoods of uncounted numbers of farmers. The disease which despite its 'link' to Mad Cow Disease still mysteriously managed to pass to a lifelong vegetarian - ah, the doomsayers said, that could be traced to slurry contaminating the water table and it was sheer coincidence that it affected 'the only veggie in the village' alone...

And the disease which, when the figures are actually added up, has actually affected only 161 people in the UK. Ever.

Thats right peeps. One Hundred And Sixty One. John Gummer was feeding his daughter burgers sixteen years ago this May to prove British Beef was perfectly and utterly safe, and was and has been since much lampooned for it. But whilst he was, yes, a Tory Wet of the Major variety and as such deserving of our contempt, he was in this particular instance completely and utterly right wasnt he?

161 cases in sixteen years. That's ten a year. So what the fucking hell did we cripple our Beef Industry for then? Oh wait. That's right, it was scientists like these who said the danger was appalling, and, well, appalling. These same charlatans with agendas, bought and sold every bit as much as Tony Blair at a Formula 1 Race. Hey, I wonder if the French Government paid the motherfuckers who say we should still Beware British Beef? Just like Dear Tessa's hubbie is once again connected to financial scandal, I bet there's a money trail leading somewhere, and sure as shit the bastard French Farmers and their advocates have the most to lose if we stop buying into this CJD bullshit and start buying into British Beef instead.

(And yes, I dont know how many people have picked up on the Mills/Ecclestone historical connection either - fancy that, Tessa 'I Know Nuuuuuthing' Jowell's 'former' husband was a Director of Formula 1 Benetton when Formula 1 got its 'mysterious' Tobacco Advertising Ban exemption...)

So now we could all be 'carrying' this deadly disease, thus necessitating a National Autopsy Quango to oversee autopsies on everybody (no pun intended) who dies of anything in Britain ever - naturally thus further necessitating even more enormous amounts of utterly wasted money to be thrown at the scientific parasites on whose word we still rely with bizarre naivete.

Ah yes, a medical demographic timebomb. We just fucking love those in the UK dont we? This nonsense is exactly the same as the 'straight people AIDS apocalypse' that has still totally failed to materialise, whereby the hilarious annual swing shift of six-figure case predictions followed a few months later by the grudging admission that the predictions from a few years ago of where we would be now have proven totally incorrect is played out. But hey, they remind us, just because AIDS is stubbornly clinging onto the gay and junkie community like, well, an AIDS scientist onto his Government grant, it doesnt mean that they wont be right in another few years. They're sure this time, and hey if they have to massage the figures by including HIV-infected immigrants from Africa who gives a shit? Its all in a good cause, after all...

The cause of course being that of keeping these scientific sellouts funded at all costs, and therefore ensuring that the agendas their paymasters wish to keep pushing are also kept in the public consciousness.

Right, I'm off for a StraightBurger. If anyone wants to come along, there's a nice Muslim kebab place up in - ah fuck it, lets not go there. That would be a little tasteless...

2 Comments:

Blogger ba ba said...

As african immigrants do have a high incidence of (a very nasty form of) HIV, it proves that straight people can become overwhelmed by the disease.

If they act like blacks.

Yeah yeah i know, im bad and nasty, and i should walk around in chocolate rivers with a gumdrop smile, and shush when it comes to such things.

Guess im mentally deficient. i blame CLD. Well done on being a crustaceon.

11:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mark Purdey has done much useful research into the causes of BSE, CJD and other brain degenerative diseases.
The culprit seems to be a managanese-rich, copper-denuded environment accompanied by a trigger event. In the case of BSE the trigger was the application of a double-dose of an organophosphate along the spine of cattle. The was applied compulsorily by MAFF which leaves the govt vulnerable to massive compensation claims and over-eager to point the finger somewhere else.

www.markpurdey.com

1:11 PM  

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