Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A Modern Fable

(stolen from Right For Scotland)

Now for a fable:

THE CLASSIC VERSION OF THIS FABLE.

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

Vs THE BRITISH MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate like him are cold and starving. The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table filled with food.

Lefties are stunned that in a country of such wealth,this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty. The Labour Party, Liberal Democrats, SSP, the trade unions, the Make Poverty History campaign and the usual bunch of professional rioters demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting an Islamic cultural festival special from a burning Birmingham estate with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome." Ken Livingston rants in an interview with Natasha Kaplinski that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on he ant to make him pay his "fair share."

In response to polls, the Labour Government drafts the economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant's taxes are reassessed and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government. The ant moves to the US and starts a successful IT company.

The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house crumbles around him because he hadn't maintained it. Inadequate government funding is blamed, Jo Brand is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost £10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose. The Daily Mirror blames it on obvious failure of government to addressthe root causes of despair arising from social inequity. The abandoned house is takenover by a gang of migrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Britian’s multicultural diversity, who promptly start terrorizing the community.

Absolute class. Free Link to anyone who can find the original source so I can see if there's more.

3 Comments:

Blogger Jo said...

Its very funny, I did LOL. Howeverr, the value of such fables is that they contrast the state of nature with what we laughingly still call a civilised community. Even elephants look after the less-well off, but then they're intelligent.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Dangerouslysubversivedad said...

Jo, I never knew you actually READ my Blog...

Not totally sure what you mean by the 'less well-off' remark though. Believe me where I come from and where I live now there are plenty of grasshoppers, and definitely not enough ants.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Tom Tyler said...

Ha ha, utterly butterly!
As I wrote on RightforScotland' blog: "Brilliant. You've just about summed up everything there is to know about the mental illness called socialism."

10:55 PM  

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